Stillness or Avoidance? How to Know Which One You’re Practicing

By someone who’s done both in the name of peace

There’s a kind of stillness that pulls heaven into your chest.
And there’s another that just helps you disappear.

The first is sacred.
The second is slippery.
But on the surface? They look almost identical.

One looks like Jesus asleep in the boat during the storm.
The other looks like Jonah sleeping in the bottom of the ship to Tarshish.
Same posture.
Totally different motives.

So how do you know the difference?

The Stillness That Heals

Let’s start here:
Stillness isn’t silence. Stillness is presence.

It’s a whole-body, whole-soul attentiveness to what God is doing—
even when you don’t know what that is yet.

Stillness is active. It listens, it notices, it holds.
It’s Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus while Martha spirals.
It’s Jesus pausing for the bleeding woman while the crowd presses in.
It’s the rootedness of a tree—not unmoving, but unmoved by wind.

Stillness doesn’t mean you’re doing nothing.
It means you’re doing the deepest thing.

You’re choosing to trust God more than your urge to fix.
You’re choosing breath over panic.
You’re choosing to sit with truth, even when it hasn’t resolved yet.

Stillness is courage clothed in quiet.

The Avoidance That Pretends to Be Peace

Now let’s talk about its sneaky twin: avoidance.

Avoidance is a master shapeshifter. It’ll wear robes, quote Scripture, and make you feel holy for ignoring the hard thing. It doesn’t shout; it just whispers,

“Not yet. Not your job. Let God handle it.”

It sounds spiritual.
It smells like patience.
But it rots your spirit.

Avoidance shows up like:

• “I’m just waiting for clarity” (when really, fear’s in the driver’s seat)

• “God hasn’t released me to act” (when He already gave you the green light)

• “I’m in a season of rest” (but you’re secretly numb, anxious, and avoiding)

Avoidance isn’t rest. It’s resistance dressed in soft clothes.

And you can lie to yourself for a while. I have. We all have.
But eventually, you’ll feel the difference—not in your schedule, but in your soul.

Avoidance drains you.
Stillness restores you.
Avoidance feels like delay.
Stillness feels like depth.

So, How Can You Tell the Difference?

Ask yourself three questions:

1. Am I avoiding discomfort or listening for direction?
   One is about fear. The other is about discernment.

2. Is this bringing me into deeper intimacy with God—or keeping me safe from hard conversations?
   Avoidance isolates. Stillness integrates.

3. Do I feel convicted to stay—or just scared to move?
   Be honest. God can handle your answer. He already knows it.

The Call to Holy Stillness (and Honest Movement)

Stillness is holy.
Avoidance is costly.

God might be calling you to wait. Or He might be calling you to move differently.

Sometimes stillness means not speaking.
Sometimes it means finally opening your mouth.

Sometimes it’s pausing the plan.
Other times, it’s finally clicking "submit."

The key? Ask what’s fueling your inaction:

• Fear? That’s avoidance.

• Trust? That’s stillness.

And if you don’t know yet?
Be still—but stay awake.
Don’t numb. Don’t distract. Don’t vanish.

Because your calling won’t wait forever…
But it will wait for your honest “yes.”

“Be still, and know that I am God.”
Not be stuck.
Not be scared.
Not be small.
Be still… and know.

And if you’re not knowing—if you’re not anchored in clarity, connection, or conviction—then it’s not stillness you’re in.

It’s time to wake up.